Baby Making 101: A Simple Guide to Getting Pregnant

Guys, let’s level here. Getting pregnant is super easy. I mean, all it takes is sperm meeting the egg, politely introducing itself, and calling it a day. Provided it’s right at the exact time during your partner’s cycle. And the hormones levels are where they need to be, the uterine lining is optimal, and, frankly, a bunch of other crap lines up. Maybe Mercury has to be in retrograde or some shit, we never knew. Ok, so it’s not so simple. And after countless rounds of timed intercourse and fertility treatments, we learned a thing or two. So we bring you: baby making 101.

Position Doesn’t Matter

The first old wives’ tale. “Maybe you’re not doing it right” is something nosy aunt Sally might say. According to most experts, though, position has little to no impact on success. We’re all adults here, so I’ll be blatant. All that matter is the semen gets up and in the cervix. So whatever position tickles your fancy, as it were.

In fact, considering the position and worrying too much can have a negative impact on getting pregnant. Performance anxiety is real, people. Whatever works for you to be able to complete the job. That’s the important part. Remember? We just need the sperm to hit the egg. The last thing we want you doing is getting stressed and failing to perform.

Baby Making 101: A Simple Guide to Getting Pregnant | Bottles & Banter

Getting Pregnant Doesn’t Require the Big O from the Woman

The story goes that as a woman orgasms, her cervix drops and expands, allowing the sperm an easier path. Some research shows that may or may not be true. Not much conclusive evidence one way or another. But similarly to position: mental approach matters.

Of course, we loving fathers-to-be, are extremely attentive to our partners’ needs. The key here is not to focus on things that have no undeniable impact on the sperm meeting the egg. If she doesn’t get that toe curling orgasm each and every encounter, don’t stress. There’s no such thing as “Orgasmic Failure” in the diagnosis of infertility. But it certainly doesn’t hurt either…

Increased Frequency Doesn’t Help

Damn. The best part of baby making and getting pregnant is having as much sex as humanly possible. The benefit being, it’s the most stress free sex you’ve ever had. No birth control to remember. No condoms. Sex as it was meant to be had. But baby making 101 dictates the frequency doesn’t plan a large role. It’s more about the timing, not the number of times within your fertile window.

As our friends over at Casual Runner can tell you, chafing doesn’t feel good. Nor does an overuse injury. Kidding. Kind of. Timing is king of the jungle, here. So if you struggle to accomplish the task at hand during the big O (NO NOT THAT O, THE OTHER MORE IMPORTANT O) day, that’s where the problems begin.

Plus, if it starts to take a bit longer than you’d expect, a daily romp might become a bit cumbersome. That sound you just heard was every teenage boy’s jaw dropping at the same time.

The After Party Doesn’t Really Matter

Legs in the air for 10 minutes. Hips elevated post-coitus. Stay in her for a few minutes. Use a Diva Cup to trap the swimmers. All great ideas. All equally useless. Really, it takes just a few minutes for the sperm to get on their way. Most of the exercises above have no real impact on getting pregnant, but in the name of baby making 101, whatever makes you comfortable is the key. And frankly, laying around a bit afterwords can’t hurt, so why not? Cuddle and talk about the kiddo you hopefully just created. Plans, aspirations, fears, etc. Oh, and ponder the fact that you’re laying next to a smokin’ hot woman who totally wants you.

Baby Making 101: A Simple Guide to Getting Pregnant | Bottles & Banter

If All Else Fails: Have A Test Tube Baby!

Because that’s a thing people say. Ugh. Getting pregnant is tough for some. And it’s not because you can’t orgasm or you are stressed or you did the wrong thing after sex. You didn’t use the wrong position and you’re not having too much or too little sex.

Infertility is far more common than most may think. If it’s taken you longer than 12 months, you might consider visiting your local reproductive endocrinologist for a consult. It’s totally worth it.

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11 Things We’ve Learned From Infertility

Does Yoga Really Improve Fertility?

Navigating the Cost of Infertility

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